My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
She needs sedatives and a leash
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
