My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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