I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
