I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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