In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
