Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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