Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
