Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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