I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
