somebody snuck up and got me drunk
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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