you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
