Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
