Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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