yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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