After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
