You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
