i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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