Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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