He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Holy sore nipples Batman
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
