shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
It's like God shit irony all over that family
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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