we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
