you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
They have beer where we have blood.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
