Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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