Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
