he wants to bone in the snuggie
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
nutella sex= disaster
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
