just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
