We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
