my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
