We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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