drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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