And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
