no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he fucked my hip out of place.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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