I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
