My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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