someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
