i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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