its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
