I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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