i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
