TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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