Porn is love you can see.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
