I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Randomize
