It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
