I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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