Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
