I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
