He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
