theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
