I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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