Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
