she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
