Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
