if i died would you start the facebook group?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
